Because You Can't Take It With You, What's the Take Away?

I got into the closets this week long overdue, a pursuit worthy of an Indy Jones archeological expedition replete with poison darts, justifiably angry natives, and misplaced pythons.  I also found my original pair of Alden Indys, albeit now too small.  Once they were not.  I swear.  I remember.  But you change even when the things you love continue to survive unscathed.  Collecting the Good Stuff is about stuff that it is so good that it really is going to outlast you.

You do this because life invites you to love things that matter to you. This is Take Away Ground Zero. 

I’ve been at this almost as long as you can be.  I started when I was 15 with my first leather Schott Perfecto (stolen from my brother, stolen later from me) and I got my Medicare card in the mail this past week.  What’s The Good Stuff ?  Everyone has their own version of the Good Stuff, yours may not be at all like mine but I do wish this problem on you.  

Take Away So Important It is Unnumbered: The Good Stuff is actually not stuff at all.  It is feeling good about your stuff.

I know guys who never get the idea much less the object of such pursuits.  I have no idea what they find more interesting in life.  (And don’t start with the family, kids are my real meaning spiel because that’s like thanking Jesus for a touchdown.  Never an interesting move.)  I’m writing today not only about having passions that endure but closets that will have to be dealt with even if one gets another 25 years---and that would be the long reach.

Take Away #1: Don't feel badly about having stuff or collecting even when you know that your kids will have to deal with it.  They won’t mind as much if you’ve been good.  Dumpsters are relatively cheap and I would recommend that they can just toss me in there too.  Save what's worth it, like my boots.

 

Boots, leathers, denim.  I don’t buy much anymore but even one more is much.  I could add to my list things you might not care much about: the bicycles and boxes of parts from the 60’s and 70’s, old watches, very old (smelly) books particularly in dead and irrelevant languages, and do I have to mention the half dozen no longer in use laptops that need to arrive at a safe destination?

Take Away #2: Too much of everything is just enough so long as you don’t end up on a TV show, bankrupt, or doing something plain wrong.

 

When my wife gets angry, she calls me a hoarder. When she’s resigned, as anyone would have to be just to tolerate the fact that there’s no chance I will ever be much different until I don’t remember who I am anymore, well, she ignores the closets and the barn.  I’m not piled up like some lunatic on a bad TV show.  It’s a more, how shall we put it, elegant mess.  All you have to do is be lucky, know what you like, keep living.

Take Away #3: Be grateful for being lucky and pay it forward.  Give away at least one thing you love, really love, every year to someone who gets it.  It’s amazing how good this will make you feel and you will have a pal that understands you too.

 

I collect more selectively nowadays and give away a lot of stuff from years past.  But I still have sport shirts from the 80s that look brand new.   No archivist worth his salt neglects his stuff.    My mother was even more…conscientious, fanatical, on game.  Okay, those ticket stubs from Led Zeppelin’s ’74 Tour might be a bit much.  It’s not like I buy things and put them away, I use them as they were meant to be used.  At least nowadays. 

Take Away #4: Use your stuff.  

When I first really had two dimes to rub together in the late 80s, my first grown up job, I bought a pair of white linen pants for the summer.  For some reason I never wore them---nice things left for special is a dumb move---and by the time I thought them, well, they had returned to their natural fiber state: yellowed, fading, stiff, best suited for the trash.  I’ve not made that mistake again.  Just more, other mistakes.  Take away here: no closet queens, fellas.  Got that?

Take Away #4.5: No closet queens.  Not the same as use your stuff.  This one is mental.

Careful buying spares.  I still do this with socks because that somehow feels, you know, prudent.  But engineer boots?  You do do this sometimes because otherwise you would not be reading this.  When I was a lad my mom would buy the same shirt in at least two colors or even the same color and I was more than a little embarrassed. Even as a six-year-old I didn’t want to look like I had a bit part in Dennis the Menace.  *n.b., that may mean nothing to you, I know.  But I might now have two of the same jeans---same fit, same fabric.  A spare.  No excuse but is it calumny?

Take Away #5: Spares are permitted sparingly. 

 

Now ain’t it the truth that when you find something you love, something you really do use a lot, “they” then go and cock it up or it disappears and you say to yerself I wish I had another?  Then there are the times you got something because it was on sale.  More about that soon.  But suffice it to say, I pay retail now or would but never buy just ‘cause it is on sale.  It’s not terrible to make mistakes.  It’s just better not to make too many.   Here’s a way to avoid these kinds of stupit [sic].  Think about buying at retail because if it’s not worth retail it’s not worth it.

Take Away #6: Paying retail is what it’s all really about.  Think about what that means before you tell me how much better it is on sale. 

And things really do change and I don’t just mean styles and tastes, especially if are lucky to get old.  My feet are more than one size larger than my prime.  I don’t know one guy whose shoes are the same at 65 as they were at 35.  I also have expanded and declined in girth (thank goodness) but gravity will have its way and sooner or later you aren’t likely going to fit that slim38 suit jacket again no matter how hard you try.   Don’t size up but know that your size is, how shall we say?  A work in progress.  Parting with things, despite what the Bard has to say about sweet sorrow, is not all that great since if you’ve really loved it all this time, why would parting feel good?

Take Away #7: Change is not always good but it happens.  Move with it and you’ll have fewer regrets.

 

We’re empty nesters now, we married off our youngest this past month.  Bon chance, my sweet child.  Your kids leave you and they should, it’s part of life.  But it never feels great.  I don’t want to say that I feel the same about my boots and leather jackets but they aren’t likely to choose to leave and, hopefully, never actually have to. 

Take Away #8: Don’t purge.  Life will do it to you anyways.  If you find yourself purging go back to that Take Away about paying retail and stop buying things that don’t last.

I don’t think having “fewer” would make much difference.  I don’t look forward to my drool bucket days or wearing Velcro sneakers staggering down the hallway calling some nice young woman I don’t know “Momma.”  I purchase far less than ever but I must still confess to having a lot more than anyone needs.  The problem isn’t materialism or possessiveness---that might be a lie but so what?--- and, yes, there is a modicum of privilege though I come from humble means and my sinecure job is humbling still.

 

Take Away#9: Loving nice things is not a problem until you have the best problem you could have.  That’s mine.  I’m running out of Patina Time (because I’m running out of time).

 

Those leathers from the 70s and 80s are looking pretty good but the ones that are now only 15 years old, worn aplenty in rotations, no closet queens allowed, well they still look practically new.  Patina is like fine Scotch: older alone isn’t better but hard use, careful snifts, and older is better.  I realized when that Medicare card arrived, I’m just going to run out of time: if I’m lucky.

Take Away #10: Patina rules, work on it like there’s no tomorrow.

 

I have no more grails.  No more bucket lists.  I have things I would like if there’s time and the madmoney cash.  Grails begone.  I have actually sold some lifetime pursuits.  What’s left is to love.  What’s more might grab my attention as soon as today.  And I won’t let go until I’ve answered the question: Just how bad do I want that?  I wish you such a life of desire because it’s just as good as getting those things or even not.  It’s about the love, the chase, the passion---the stuff is just one part of that story.

 

Take Away Bonus: Love your life ‘cause it really really does go by in a flash.  Don't feel poorly for your passions because someday you won't have any to worry about.